I’ve often joked, to myself, in my head, that I should start a film/tv review site where I review everything six months after it comes out. This is not particularly wise, but it reflects my situation, which is that I am a homebody who loves movies. I’ve recently had to make a conscious effort to go see films I want to support. Soooo I just happen to really get into things that everyone has long since left behind as the last greatest thing.
In this case, we’re not at six months, but six years. Because I am in love with the Big Bang Theory.
So in love. I apologize if you don’t like it, because I just bought seasons 1-5 and they’re in the mail. And sometimes I get a little. . .obsessive.
Sometime later I want to write about fandoms and obsessions, as I seem to be the kind of person prone to their lure. And the internet really grew up around them. But that’s for another day.
This is just an introduction to my Big Bang Theory obsession, and I wanted to start a new series: The Big Bang Theory Gets It Right. As a lady nerd married to a(n extremely handsome) nerd, I feel I am an expert on nerd love and life. So we’ll be talking about those that really sound true.
When nerds are in love, they absolutely sit on the edge of their seat with a goofy look of adoration on their faces as they watch you do the thing you love. That look is 100%. Johnny Galecki’s sweet sincerity is a gift to us all!
Uggggh. Edward is such a dick. All the time. Robert Patterson, who hates Twilight and understands it better than most mortals, once said in an interview that he saw Edward as a bipolar, sociopathic dick and that’s how he played him. To perfection.
A fun weekday drinking game is to watch the entire Twilight series and take a drink when Edward isn’t a total dick. You’ll be as sober as a priest on Sunday the next morning for work!
An interesting thing to note here, while I watch Edward lie to Bella and leave her in the woods to die, is Stephanie Meyer’s corollaries with Christianity and Mormonism. New Moon, very clearly, is about man’s attempts to live without God/Christ. In my religious days we spent a lot of time talking about a God-shaped vacuum inside all of us – an impossibility to live completely without accepting God/Jesus into your life. Bella’s painful and pathetic suffering is supposed to showing the impossibility of her living without Edward. Edward is God here. Let’s just meditate on that a moment. God is like a dickish, lying boyfriend.
Well, I’ve been away, and I’ve been writing false starts for ages. It’s time to start talking about Twilight.
Let’s get a few things straight:
*We’re talking about the movies, not the horrible books
*The audience is me, a late 20-something feminist lady
*I agree that the movies are terribly horrible (but argue that is part of the charm)
*you gotta hear me out
Listen: without backstory, if I were to tell you about this B-movie campy film with an A-movie budget about a high school vampire romance with bad wigs, you wouldn’t be into it? I certainly would! I admit, I have no shame. I like to think of it as being honestly in touch with my true feelings.
And oh my god. The wigs.
As we speak I am watching New Moon, which is my least favorite of the franchise. But even still, there are so many things I love. Another list.
Things I Love About Twilight:
*Robert Patterson hates Twilight
*It’s shiny and pretty
*ZOMG bad vampire wigs!
I promise I’ll be more concise and have citations later. But right now, that’s all I got.
Here is what I leave you with. Who doesn’t want their sexy vampire boyfriend walking towards them in a breeze across the high school parking lot while the Hurricane Bells plays?
“Men grow up expecting to be the hero of their own story. Women grow up expecting to be the supporting actress in somebody else’s. As a kid growing up with books and films and stories instead of friends, that was always the narrative injustice that upset me more than anything else. I felt it sometimes like a sharp pain under the ribcage, the kind of chest pain that lasts for minutes and hours and might be nothing at all or might mean you’re slowly dying of something mundane and awful. It’s a feeling that hit when I understood how few girls got to go on adventures.”
You know, maybe one day I will watch White House Down on a boring afternoon or plane ride. I do enjoy the big summer political intrigue blockbuster. But I am kind of offended that in 2013, production companies think that what we want is the President shooting people. I think it’s safe to say that we are not exactly in a period of safety and comfort in our countrywide political state of mind. So no, Roland Emmerich, thinking about the White House being overtaken by hostile forces, the secret service and military members taken out, and the President being forced into inflicting bodily harm onto people does not really inspire me to run to the theaters.
Emmerich is really a contemptuous filmmaker. He deals inthe treacly disaster dreams of a certain subset of America (and apparently the rest of the world, if his international numbers are taken into account) of disaster, survival, and the dissipation of typical political and social mores. You know, back to the good old days, where the person with a gun (or airplane or spaceship or military aircraft) is the hero and sets the rules. His currency is the most basic and vulnerable emotions of shock, grief, fear, and outrage and he crosses any line to appeal to them. Ugh. I see him as profiteering from worldwide unrest and the very complicated emotions it creates.